Thursday, August 5, 2010

How We Grieve

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. - 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

I wanted to share some thoughts about how we have learned to grieve a miscarriage.  I hope that these ideas will help you or someone you know who has or will experience a loss like this. It can be very difficult to navigate how to remember these short, precious lives. 

First of all, we took time to say "Goodbye"...
This was our last day with our sweet Bundle.

For both babies that we've lost, I've needed some way of memorializing or remembering their lives.  It's hard knowing how to do this when most lost lives end with a funeral or memorial service.  I've used a small table or bench and I fill it with cards, candles, clothes, pictures and anything else that helps me in grieving my child's life. 

I was so blessed to have a picture of our baby this time around.
 This was taken at 7.5 weeks when the baby seemed healthy with a strong heartbeat. (What a wonderful day that was!)

 I created this tiny blanket and hat to remember our baby by. As I 
grieve, it helps to keep my hands busy...

I've also painted a small portrait representing of each of my lost babies.

Here's an outfit I got the baby early on, 

I often light candles on the baby's memorial.

Lovely flowers from my parents, set in the vases Brian bought for me and our bundle...

Each time I've lost a little one, I've written a letter and Brian has written a poem. We both have found this very healing. 


I found a wonderful seller on Etsy who makes beautiful memorial lockets. We picked out this lovely necklace, one side for each baby we've lost.

And most importantly, we find our hope in God's love and grace...

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. - Matthew 11:25-30

For men are not cast off by the Lord forever.  Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love.For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men. -Lamentations 3:31-33 


  1. This is a beautiful way to grieve. I truly hope your day comes for you sooner rather than later!

  2. I agree with Caroline... that truly is a beautiful way to grieve. I've learned from experience that actively grieving is far more helpful for your soul.

    I just read a book (actually finished it at about 1:00 in the morning) called "growing up Yanomamo" by Mike Dawson of New Tribes Ministries. It's a really neat book about growing up as a MK in the Jungles of Venezuela. It's a mostly light hearted fun book, but there is a great chapter on grieving (as he lost his wife to malaria). I think it might bring you just a bit of comfort.

  3. Oh Kerrie, I have been grieving for you as well, and am brought to tears for your loss. I am comforted by the thought that two dear ones will have only ever known the warmth of their mother and the presence of God.

  4. Thank you so much. You ladies are such an encouragement to me. :) Brittany, I'm going to check out that book, thanks for the recommendation! Have a wonderful night.

  5. Oh no...I'm so sorry...may you find peace in God's promise...