my sometimes

Sometimes your baby is sick and reverts to waking up all night like a newborn, and then wakes up for good before the sun does, and you wish you hadn't stayed up so late making even more bunting for your art room. 

Sometimes you're still adjusting to your husband being back at work after a wonderful together-ful summer while trying to prepare two art programs and two classrooms by yourself with an accident prone toddler in tow. 

Sometimes the housework piles up, but there are too many people and things and to-do lists vying for your time for you to bother.

And then, sometimes, you learn that your Dad has lung cancer, and it feels like he's just recovered from the last bout of cancer and you wonder why, why, why must he go through this again? And you're anxious about the future.

* * *

So sometimes you gather your tired, cranky, runny-nosed babe, pack some strawberries and cheerios, a picnic blanket and your life line and you walk to the sea; because the air is crisp and the space wide-open and your sick baby is enlivened by the wide water, gentle ocean breeze, open space and the early morning dog-walkers. 

Sometimes you breathe deep, sip your coffee, soak the morning sun and watch your son happily toddle to and fro, waving to you proudly from across the lawn, back often for a cuddle and a cheerio.

And you read this:

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures
he leads me beside quiet waters...
he refreshes my soul.... (from Psalm 23)

And you remember this:

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you... (Psalms 55:22)  

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.  (John 14:27)

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3: 22-23) 

And then, sometimes you are overwhelmed with thanks.